It's a good day to write a blog.
It has been a while since we've given an update other than a sentence or two here and there. The third mom we presented to was due any day when we agreed to present. Before she was able to make a decision on an adoptive family, she had her baby girl. She wanted some time to make a decision and wanted the birth father's input. He was out of town. So we were in a state of this could be our baby....and knew we would hear any day....we may go pick up our baby girl tomorrow...this could be it...
It's weird wondering if you should buy diapers yet, try to keep up with the laundry in case you need to pack fast, and make childcare plans all while not knowing if the birth family would choose us. There was a week wait before the father made it home and then three more days in a row of "you will hear today", followed by a "never mind, you will hear tomorrow". It was a very, VERY long Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
In the meantime, we received another situation on a baby due in July. It was one we were willing to present to, so we sent our info and asked them to have it on hold in case we received a "no" from the first situation.
After three days of nothing, we got two no's in one day.
And that came at the end of a very hard week for other reasons that were not adoption related. This blog isn't the place to share that and this isn't a blog to make you feel sorry for us.
Far from it.
The point is, we were in prayer constantly.
Going to God saying, we need you.
We need you to get through these hard situations. We need you to remind us we are called to adopt. We need you to take our burdens and our heavy hearts. We need you to fill us up so we can minister to others. We need you to remind us that you know all of our days, not just today. We need you to remind us that your timing is perfect. We need the reminder that our obedience is enough. We need you to help us just get up and face this day, and the next.
We need you.
Have you had one of those weeks when you couldn't turn on the TV or unwind from your normal work day, because your heart was so burdened for yourself and others that you just needed God? An ache that comes from a hurting world?
I love the hymn I Need Thee Every Hour. I always have. And lately, I've been singing it every day, multiple times a day. Why? Because it's true.
And after the smoke cleared and we came up for a deep breath, instead of feeling exhausted and angry, I felt joy...
BECAUSE I knew we were smack dab in the middle of doing what we were called to do and TOTALLY dependent on the One who will make it happen.
I know how to try to do life on my own. I know how to live an "easy" life independent of God all while singing "I Need Thee Every Hour" just because I like the sound of it.
But to live a life where I mean it? Now that's an exciting place to be.
Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone.
Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him.
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you;
he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
1 Peter 5:7
Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
From here we continue to wait on another situation. The process takes time no matter how badly I want to speed things up. Some weeks we don't see any situations at all. And then if we do present, it can take weeks to hear our answer. On a good month, that typically gives us a chance to see one situation, present and wait for an answer. We know we will likely go through some more no's too. But what a glorious day it will be when we get our YES!
Until then...I will continue to say, pray and sing this song. And instead of sharing my own alone-in-my-car or in-the-shower version, you should listen to Selah's. It's my favorite and a lot more enjoyable for your ears!