How long will it take?

Now that you are home study approved, how long will it take?  

It’s hard to answer this question, because there are several factors to take into consideration.  The first is how long it takes to be matched with a birth mother.  In order to broaden our reach, we decided to sign up with an adoption consultant.  The group we are using is called Christian Adoption Consultants.  They offer support at each step of adoption.  We were assigned to Susan and she has been so much help!  I email her multiple times a week.  We ask questions about the matching and placement process, how to best design our family profile books, financial questions concerning grants and loans, ask for explanations about adoption costs, and much more! 

After signing up and asking tons of questions, we were given a list of agencies across the U.S. that our consultant group had worked with before and highly recommended.   This gave us assurance that we could partner with groups who are ethical, care greatly for the birth mothers and families, and are working hard as the go between for birth families and adoptive families.  There were several agencies recommended.  So far, we have applied to three.  Each agency has their own set of guidelines, paperwork and many have an additional fee just to sign up.  We chose to sign up with those who have lower fees or no sign up fees to start.  It’s been a hard step for us because we are working diligently to save money and about the time we feel we are making a dent, there’s something else to pay for just to get started.

So now that we are home study approved, have a consultant and are working with different agencies, we begin to see what the adoptive world calls “situations” presented to us by email.  These situations give us the opportunity to know as much as possible and can include important birth parent information, social and medical issues.  It also gives us the expected cost of the adoption and how much money would be due at the time of match.  We then have the chance to pray over if we would like to be “presented” to the birth family.

One of the beginning steps of our adoption was to create a “profile”.  This is a book that they use to “present” us to the birth family.  This is a way to tell the expectant mother about our family, our thoughts on adoption and our future plans.  It was an interesting process as we sought to give an honest look at our family instead of trying to “sell” our family.  We have prayed over this book, that it would make its way to the hands of an expectant birth mother of our future child and that she would be comforted by it in some way and encouraged as she makes one of the most difficult decisions for her baby.

So, if we choose to be presented, the birth mom is given our profile book along with other adoptive families and she is given several days to choose which family she feels is best for her child.  If she were to pick our family, that is considered a “match”.

While we are already receiving emails of situations, we still have some time before we will be able to present to a family due to the cost due at match.  Sometimes this is half the cost, or if the mother is due any day, it could be up to the full cost of adoption.  I’m so not ready to talk about all that goes into the finances of adoption, although I will try to tackle the subject in other blog soon.  But for now, I will tell you that the average cost is $30,000-$35,000 but can range from $25,000-$40,000. So even if only half the cost is due at match, it is still a significant amount.  But, we will come back to this topic at a later date.

For now, I’d like to share what God is teaching me.  

The story of Abraham and Sarah has come up through my own quiet time and in conversations with others.  I love God's timing in me revisiting this story and I love this verse.

“By faith, Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance.” Hebrews 11:8

Abraham did not know where he was going when he was called to go, but he went.  

He didn’t know how to get there, but he went.  

Without sight and without a plan.

He went in faith.  

Psalm 127:3 says “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord” and some versions use the word “inheritance” from the Lord.  I can’t help but come back to these verses in my times of doubt. 

My family will walk by faith to follow God’s calling to receive our inheritance….

Baby Brumley #3.