I haven't updated with a blog in a little while. I've wondered what the next topic would be. There's only so many ways to say "we are in the waiting". But, in a lot of ways I'm thankful for this time as God has used it to mold us to be more like Him.
First, a few adoption terms we've learned along the way. One of the first things we learned about domestic adoption is that very few are closed adoptions. A closed adoption is when the birth parents and adoptive couple remain completely anonymous. The birth parents do not meet or even know the names of the adoptive parents. This used to be the most common type of adoption, but is now considered rare.
Most adoptions fall into the category of open adoption or semi-open adoption. A semi-open adoption allows the adoptive parents' contact information to remain confidential, but often the adoptive parents meet the birth parents prior to or at birth. It involves updates sent periodically through email or private blogs while not sharing your general contact information. The situations we have considered so far fall into this category
Open adoption has a wide variation of what it might look like. Often there is an exchange of first and last names and you may contact each other through telephone, personal email or social media site, or face to face encounters.
Now back to how God is molding us...
Just to be vulnerable, the thought of anything but a closed adoption was terrifying to me when we first started to consider adoption. I had lifetime shows running through my head where the birth family comes to the adoptive family's front door demanding their child back. But real life doesn't play out like Hollywood drama.
I could go on and on about this topic and if you want to know more, I'd love to have a conversation with you about it! With healthy boundaries, no one has to forfeit their right to privacy. But that's not what I have in mind for this blog. Instead, I want to show you how God is using this specific topic to challenge us. And hopefully change us forever, for the better.
The truth is, when it comes to loving a new baby, the decision is easy.
Think about it. Babies are...
Innocent. Precious. Cute. Loveable.
We entered into this to have a baby. But could God really be asking us to love on the birth family as well? Wouldn't it be easier to ignore the fact that with adoption there can be brokenness, shortcomings, and mistakes?
Someone challenged me a long time ago to ask God to help me "love like He loves us". I've said it before. But how often do I do it? To love like God loves us. To love with grace.
To love someone who hasn't earned it.
To love without expectations of return.
To love for who they are and not what they've done.
To love fully, giving all and not just a part.
To love patiently, intentionally and unconditionally.
I love applying His unconditional love to me. I am slow to apply it to others when it does not benefit me, and especially when it may even hurt me. But scripture cannot be ignored.
Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved.
Romans 5:8 But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Psalm 86:15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.
Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height or depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
So I had to ask myself and take a hard look at my life and think, "Am I really loving people like God loves me?" I have Jesus with me, but do I let him live through me?
Through time and conviction, God has changed my heart. While there is still an unknown in how much of a relationship the birth mother may want to have with us, I am open and excited about the opportunity to LOVE this precious woman as Christ loves her and loves me.
There's a good chance that during this time in her life love has not been displayed to her by those surrounding her. I'm excited when I read a situation where she has friends or family that are supportive, but sometimes that's not the case. Sometimes, she's been encouraged to have an abortion from those closest to her. Often times, her reason for considering adoption is that they "want a life for the baby full of love that they have not experienced". To say many of these women feel more broken than loved would be an understatement.
In a world of brokenness, shouldn't we as Christians look vastly different? Instead of being those that abandon the broken, shouldn't we draw close and speak of the grace that defines us?
I heard this song on the radio this morning and I don't think it's a coincidence knowing I was about to type this blog. I think it's the perfect way to close us out today.
Unspoken- Call It Grace
It's the light that pierces through you
To the darkest hidden place
It knows your deepest secrets
But it never looks away
It's the gentle hand that pulls you
From the judgement of the crowd
When you stand before them guilty
And you got no way out
Some may call it foolish and impossible
But for every heart it rescues, it's a miracle
It's nothing less than scandalous
This love that took our place
Just call it what it is, call it grace
Call it grace
It's the breath that's breathing new life
Into what we thought was dead
It's the favor that takes orphans
Placing crowns upon their heads
It's the hope for our tomorrows
The rock on which we stand
It's a strong and mighty fortress
Even Hell can't stand against
Some may call it foolish and impossible
But for every heart it rescues, it's a miracle
It's nothing less than scandalous
This love that took our place
Just call it what it is, call it grace
Call it grace
Call it grace
Amazing, unshaking
This is grace, this is grace
Unchanging, unfailing
This is grace, this is grace
Some may call it foolish and impossible
But for every heart it rescues, it's a miracle
It's nothing less than scandalous
That Jesus took our place
Oh call it what it is, just call it what it is
Call it grace
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